Repressions: Beyond the Surface of the Art

The photographic series “Repressions” is about more than just myself; it’s also about more than a masturbatory approach to creating art about art.  It is about speaking out about oppression and violence against women and girls, which affects over half of Canadian women.  “Repressions” is about refusing to participate in the silence that surrounds these issues.

"Blood and Glass" (2015-16) C-Print with Cracked Glass, by Holly Marie Armishaw

I grew up in a small Canadian prairie town, in a lower middle class family.  People say that small towns are the best place to raise a family, but I wholeheartedly disagree.  I was part of a latchkey generation who was not only left to our own devices, but burdened with the weight of our households as well.  In a region that seemed feminist politics had never reached, the girls had it especially bad!  Growing up in the 80’s and 90's it seemed that no one was protecting us and everyone was antagonizing us.   We were societies most vulnerable, free to be used and abused as anyone saw fit.

In a National Population Health Survey conducted between 1994-2011 Statistics Canada reported nearly twice the incidence of childhood abuse in female than male subjects. [1]

Of the many girls that I grew up close to, each of us was subjected to at least 10 of the following and mostly before the age of 16:

• Physical Abuse
  
• Sibling Abuse
  
• Bullying
• Sexual Assault (Isolated Incident/s)
• Sexual Abuse (Pattern of behavior)
• Incest
• Child Labour
• Children parenting siblings
• Emotional/Psychological Abuse
• Child Neglect
  
• Child Endangerment
• Sexual Harassment
• Stalking and Harassment
• Statutory Rape
• Sexual Assault
• Rape
• Date Rape
• Drug Facilitated Sexual Assault
• Physical Assault
• Sexual Discrimination

"Invisible Barriers" (2015-16) 24 x 24" C-Print, by Holly Marie Armishaw

I’ve long ago lost touch with the girls of my childhood, but how they left my life and the impressions of their private lives remain.  My earliest childhood friend, Connie had her first boyfriend in grade 9 – some older, greasy, low-life drug-dealer who always reeked from chain-smoking.  She became pregnant before our grade 9 graduation and at the age of 14, was the first of my friends who dropped out of school.  I’ve never seen her since.  Another, a vibrant, thin, wiry girl that I spent so much time with, shared similar struggles to my own.  Lorrie’s home was chaotic, with what seemed like 10 kids and never a parent in sight.  Her older siblings also beat her relentlessly, and she fell in with the wrong crowd at around age 11.  When I’d heard that Lorrie had been raped by two guys while they she high on acid, she became unreachable.  She seemed to drop off the face of the earth, gone to some dark nether world.  Over time I joined another group of girls, who’s lives seemed “normal” on the outside.  But once inside their homes, a different story could be seen.  There was Joy,  who had two younger sisters; her role at home was basically as a surrogate mother to her siblings, although she was just a child herself.  I am told that she had become a grandmother by age 30.  Then there were those with parents of divorce or separation.  One close friend, Judy, lived her life between her separate mother and father’s homes.  Her mother was always kind to me, but she was always drunk and never without a cigarette in hand.  Judy’s mother and her boyfriend, who proudly parked his Harley in the living room, would often drink heavily, escalating and exploding into fighting.  Her father’s house was an escape from the drinking and fighting; because he worked on the road, he was never home, which meant that we could raid his very well-stocked liquor cabinet, free of any parental interference.  I had my first experience with alcohol poisoning and a blackout at age 15 while with her.  I haven’t seen her in 25 years now, but how do you suppose a child of two alcoholic parents turns out anyways?  The only things worse than liberal parents, are those that are too strict.  I eventually became close to Brandy, a girl who had a great talent for singing, and unfortunately, a body that drove men wild.  I can remember at age 15 sitting in an apartment just a half block away from her parents house, watching a 20 or 30 something year old guy, old enough to have a gut already, sticking his tongue down her throat and his hands up her shirt as we drank beer, played cards and chain-smoked cigarettes.  But it was her father who seemed more nefarious to me; she was terrified of him and his beatings.  A few Christian girls befriended me, mostly to try to “save” me as they told me stories of the book of Revelations.  But it was them who I felt needed to be saved when I learned that some of their fathers used a belt to whip them as punishment.  I was disgusted at the thought that a grown man, father or stepfather, would force a fully developed teenage girl to bare her buttocks for him to whip.  It was at around age 14 that I learned that the chaotic and unpredictable beatings that I got while my mother was in a violent state of rage were actually somehow deemed less acceptable as punishment.  The list goes on and on as one girl after another slowly dropped out of school and drifted away into oblivion.

"Petals" (2015-16) Detail, 24 x 24" C-Print with Rose Petals, by Holly Marie Armishaw

Overall, in 2010, girls were 37% more likely than boys to be the victims of violent crime committed by their family members (338 incidents per 100,000 population compared to 212 per 100,000). [2]

What chance did those girls have for success in life?  What potential might they have held?  Our homework was always of low priority as we were more concerned avoid avoiding the violent wrath of parents, should they come home to find some imperfection in our vacuuming job.  Had we only stayed in school, and abstained from sex, drugs and alcohol.  What support or role models did we have? No one cared about our well-being.  All anyone cared about was exploiting us!  All they wanted was for us to do their housework for them, to take care of their children/our siblings for them, to have dinner on the table and a clean house and yard when they came home, to be obedient and to stay out of trouble so that it didn’t make them look like bad parents.   If the house looked perfect, our lives must have been too.
 
The effects of teaching girls to be obedient and submissive puts them at risk as they get older and interact with people outside of their own homes.  We lacked the assertiveness necessary to survive later predators.  The men in our community showed little or no respect for women and girls.  Those who at least feigned some form of wooing plied us with the cheapest alcohol and any drugs available, chosen to quickly and effectively disarm us.  I was 15 the first time I was ever offered cocaine, by a 25 year-old man who told me in lurid detail what he wanted to do to me afterwards.  We were simply concubines for their carnal pleasures, each one sicker than the next.  And yet for many of us, it was the only form of affection we knew.

Given this upbringing, what impact does it have on our lives long term?  The first thing that comes to mind is economic disparity.   Absenteeism from school or work is one of the most immediate effects.  Without even a high school education what hope can one have for prosperous career?

"Gold Leaf" (2015-16) 24 x 24" C-Print with Gold Leaf, by Holly Marie Armishaw

As a result, girls and women are faced with invisible barriers that may haunt them for the remainder of their lives.  These repressions can manifest themselves in a number of ways, be they physical, psychological, social and economic.  Often the body remembers what the mind tries to forget. Physical or sexual abuse can cause long-term heath issues that can surface decades later. Experts aren't sure why this is so, but about half of women with chronic pelvic pain have a history of abuse. [3]
The consequences of chronic maltreatment can include lengthy battles with:

• Depression
• Anxiety Disorders
• PTSD/Complex PTSD
• Eating Disorders
  
• Self-Harm
  
• Substance Abuse and Addiction
• Chronic Pain
• Weak immune systems
• Gastrointestinal Problems
• Gynecological Problems
• Cardiovascular Disease
• Personality Disorders
• Dissociation
• Suicide Attempts
• Attachment Disorder
• Sleep Disorders

"Eggs" (2015-16) C-Print with Eggshell, by Holly Marie Armishaw

 In 2014 Statistics Canada reported that women constituted approximately 65% of all Canadians with mood disorders. [4] Numerous studies have documented associations between childhood physical abuse and subsequent mental and physical disorders. [5]

"Painkillers" (2015 - 16), Full Image, 24 x 24" C-Print with Pills, by Holly Marie Armishaw

Putting it mildly, a history of abuse can continue to manifest itself in the present, even decades after leaving the immediate danger or abusive situation.  Just as the objects in the photographs of “Repressions” spill out into the present, so too do the effects of violence and abuse.

- Holly Marie Armishaw (April 2016)

[1] http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/82-003-x/2015005/article/14170/tbl/tbla1-eng.htm
[2] http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-002-x/2012001/article/11643/11643-3-eng.htm
[3] http://www.healthlinkbc.ca/healthtopics/content.asp?hwid=tv2262
[4] http://www.statcan.gc.ca/tables-tableaux/sum-som/l01/cst01/health114a-eng.htm
[5] Afifi TO, MacMillan HL, Boyle M, et al.  Child abuse and mental disorders in Canada. Canadian Medical Association Journal 2014; 186(9): E324-32

For more information on the Repressions series, please visit: http://www.hollyarmishaw.com/repressions.html